So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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