Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize