I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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