Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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