His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
