I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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