It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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