This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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