i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's just so happy...and so naked.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
