i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
