i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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