The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
