if you like me you must not know who I am
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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