Its about making memories worth repressing
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize