DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
