Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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