WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
