I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
