So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
