watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
