I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
