This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
