haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
