miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
