He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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