we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
