he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
