But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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