So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
