I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
