God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
