we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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