i barfeds in our rink
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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