Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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