TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
