Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
