It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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