at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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