Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
