Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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