We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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