I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
