He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
