im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize