Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
