I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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