there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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