I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
