I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
