I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
