Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
