well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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