I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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