That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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