I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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