we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
3 2 1 whiskey
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
